This article summarises all my research and personal notes about growth mindset. It explains what is a growth mindset, why is it important, how to lear it and most of all gives you ready phrases to use with your kids.
"Easier said than done", right?
Ok, here are some ready phrases that you can use:
When the task is quite difficult:
Oh, and don't forget to acknowledge the efforts when the task is completed. Refrain from saying "Good boy!" say " You've done it!" Focus on the achievement and say "Look how different it is for you to do that now."
It's not me, it's Carol Dweck! The power of our mindset has been discovered by Dr. Carol Dweck following decades of research. She found two categories of mindsets: growth and fixed.
Adults and children with growth mindset believe that intelligence and abilities can be develop through hard work and perseverance. They learn from mistakes and try different strategies for success.
On the other side we find people that are convinced that we are born with a certain amount of intelligence, that cannot be changed. This group of people sees the mistakes as failure and are helpless when faced difficulties.
Which group do you think does better at school and in life?
What do you say, or your child says after failure? Are these statements familiar: "I can't do it! This is too difficult for me.", "I am so rubbish at reverse parking" , "I will never be good at maths!", "The teacher just doesn't like me!", "Reading is stupid!", " I don't like this new teacher, she just gives me hard work!", "Oh, you are so clever!", "You are a clever cookie, aren't you?"
Remember, there is absolutely no judgment here (the parking example is mine). Learning growth mindset is difficult, and like everything else takes practice and time.
Here is something to give you strength:
“We like to think of our champions and idols as superheroes who were born different from us. We don’t like to think of them as relatively ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary.“ CAROL DWECK
C. Dweck. Mindset. Robinson, 2012.
Adele Faber, and Elaine Mazlish, How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. Piccadily Press, 2012.